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Change the way you think!

How do you know if some of your beliefs are limiting your potential?  Read this article to find out more.............

Are some of your beliefs limiting your potential?

If so, then you maybe you need to change the way you think in order to break that pattern of negative behavour or overcome procrastination?

Let me give you an example:

A client who recently sought life coaching felt that she was stuck in a rut.  She hated her job, and the responsibility that came with it.  The negative feelings she was experiencing were starting to affect her health.  Also, her body was trying to tell her that she was in the wrong place, but she refused to listen.  The client was in denial - she was not sleeping properly, she was suffering panic attacks and felt anxious most of the time.  Every day she found she was having to drag herself out of bed to reluctantly go into work, and yet once she sat behind her desk, no-one in the office had a clue about the inner turmoil she was going through.  Does this sound familiar to you?

So, the "Activing event" that was causing her disturbance was,  "I hate my job, there has to be something better than this, but I don't know what"?  The consequence of her "activing event", was panic attacks, anxiety and sleepless nights, plus the ANTS (automatic negative thoughts, that were constantly swimming around her head).  However, during our sessions, the client realised that what was really causing her emotional disturbance was the belief that she may not get the job she really wanted because she did not have the appropriate skills or qualifications.  Yet,  as we explored the skills she did have, the client realised that there was no reason why she could not get her ideal' job, if she really wanted to do it.  She was financially secure, money was not the issue, but as we dug deeper into the client's psyche, the client realised that what was also stopping her, were other limiting beliefs, such as, fear of failure - "what if I cannot get a job when I have handed in my notice"?  "What if it does not turn out the way I expect it to"?  "What if I fail, where will I get another job?"   These were the beliefs that were really stopping her from taking action, and keeping her in a very uncomfortable place.

Also, with further work, the client realised  her limiting beliefs were based on her values, some of which were, responsibility, loyalty, independence.  By taking a risk the client was fearful of letting other people down and yet she soon realised that by sticking to a job she hated, the only person she was letting down, was herself. 

As her life coach, I was able to help the client dispute her irrational  limiting beliefs and help her to explore other options, which would help her perpetuate rational beliefs, such as "if I cannot yet find my ideal job or a suitable alternative, that does not mean I am a failure or a worthless person, I can consider other options."  During which time the panic attacks subsided and she was able to get a really good night's sleep, for the first time in ages.  Having coaching helped the client to re-evaluate the situation and make some positive changes that were long overdue.

This is just one example of how someone can sabotage their success.  Another way of sabotaging one's success is by constantly 'looking in the rear view mirror'.  In other words, if we feel we have tried something and it failed in the past, we sabotage ourselves by not believing we can achieve success in the future!  What a load of nonsense! 

Would you agree that whatever choice you make in any given moment, feels like the right choice at the time?  And yet, if the outcome/result  is not what we anticipate or we feel disappointed in some way, then rather than feel a failure and beat ourselves up for making a mistake (which only serves to make us feel worthless) - we can choose to accept,  that on this occasion it did not work out, but that it does not make you a 'failure', or a 'bad'  person.   It simply means that maybe there is another option or choice you can make?

Edison made over 10,000 attemps to create electricity before he finally came up with the light bulb - did that stop him from attaining success?  NO - The reason was simple - Edison believed in himself.  He knew he would find what he was looking for, if he kept trying and stayed focussed on his goal - and with every 'failed'  attempt, he learned how to do it differently.

Did you know that every day, the average human being has at least 60,-70,000 thoughts going through their heads.  Consider how many of those thoughts are self critical, negative or self defeating?  The mind is an extremely powerful thing, as are we, as human beings.  If you want to tap into your true potential you have to start changing the way you think in order to manifest what you truly desire in your life. 

Albert Ellis (1995-2007) who developed Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy in 1955 has written several books on how to overcome emotional disturbance by changing your self-perpetuating irrational beliefs.  Currently I am studying Ellis's work and therefore, use his model in my coaching and counselling work.

What is it that you are afraid of?  What fear or limiting belief is holding you back?   Contact me if you want some help in overcoming your limiting belief/s and want to tap into your true potential.  We want to help YOU become happier, more contented with your lot and/or achieve the success you yearn for.

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